Don’t stay at:
* Any hotel that is advertised with a magnet on a van
* Has “VIP”, “Executive” or “Luxury” in the name.
* Boasts “internet” or “cable tv”.
* In Honolulu, is billed as “close to the beach”.
* Poolside rooms at a Holiday Inn on weekends in the winter in Minnesota, Iowa, Wisconsin or The Dakotas.
* Has “#2” in the title, as in The Ramada Airport #2. It’s just too metaphorical.
* Markets “truck parking” as a key feature of the property.
* “Historic” often translates to “on it’s last legs”.
* Has a vinyl banner over the marquee with the newest name of the hotel.