A Royal Flush

From a traveler with his family checking out colleges in Massachusetts: “My wife and I checked into our room first and our daughter went to the bathroom and I heard a loud ‘EWWW!’ and went to see what was up. My phone had a hard time focusing on water but there were pee drops on the seat, a piece of plastic floating in the water, several gobs of sputum, a used Q-Tip and a couple of blobs of red stuff.”